I am finally able to enjoy it again and wow, delight does not begin to describe it. You know all those people that claim they get pregnant and don't know it for months and months or even until the end? You know how all those people that have had kids kind of roll their eyes thinking "there is no chance!" Yeah, I am one of those -the ones that could never NOT know. For one thing I grow really fast. I am already having strangers guess that I am 8 months along (just 6 for those who wonder) and the gymnastics that are happening inside at this very moment I am not sure could be taken accidentally for gas. Not to mention, if I watch my stomach it already turns all sorts of odd shapes along with the "gas bubbles" - especially when I drink coffee! Getting them hooked early. I"m all about that. But the biggest thing that has so far happened to me each and every time - and happened to my mother too I am told: Is that coffee, which is usually the nectar of the Gods' to me, all of a sudden becomes horse piss. Or something equally disgusting. I can't taste it, smell it, be around it, talk about it or even think about it without gagging and losing my lunch. I would have to play mental games with myself literally while passing a starbucks in the car because pulling over to the side of the road in order to throw-up is one of my least favorite things to do - regardless of how often I did it a few months ago. Ugg, I shudder just remembering! So for me at least, the coffee thing would give it away. Unfortunately, sickness for me lasts until about 20 weeks (that is 4-5 months for those that don't do the week thing) instead of the standard 12. Fortunately, it does go away. Sometimes overnight and low and behold, I can drink and even enjoy coffee again!
Sometimes it takes a little while after the sickness goes away for me to be brave enough. The imagination is a strong thing, and when you have an aversion that intense, just because the physical symptoms go away it doesn't mean you don't still have a reaction mentally. This is why I am only just today starting to drink coffee every morning, even though I have been sickness free for a little over a month now.
I took a quiz the other day - just one of the online ones that take all the old wives tales, some as silly as "show me your hands - if you put them out palm up it is a girl, palm down a boy" (or vice-verse, can't remember) and it said "boy" for me based on my answers. I think it is wrong though. I am almost entirely sure this baby is a girl - mostly from the 8 or so ultra-sounds I have already had. My Doctor likes to look there, and this is not my first child. So as much as I may tell him "we don't want to know" or look away - I am pretty sure there is nothing in between those legs - and we have a very immodest child. Now, I am not a professional, and even if I was, even they get it wrong sometimes. But I will be shocked, to say the least, if I am wrong. I think I could do the mom of three girls though. I will predict that this one would have blond hair and blue eyes - just because I think that would be fun. And so I would have three girls that all look entirely different. They will all have wonderful imaginations and be very polite and well behaved - but love playing in the mud and having adventures. Dad would remain the king of his castle forever and have his own little group of adorers to follow him around. Do you like my fantasy? It is rooted in truth though. I can clearly remember, before having kids while I was working as a teacher having a conversation. There is one family at the school (still there) that has three girls and I had them all in my extended care. The middle child at the time was in 2nd grade and the mom and all three girls took the second grade teacher out to dinner. This was a nicer place, not your general McDonald’s where rowdy children are tolerated. I can so clearly remember her telling the story of wondering how the girls would do at a ritzy place like this (I believe they were 5, 7 and 9 at the time...or something close to it) and she was so pleased when they all were so well behaved. They all put their napkins in their laps, thanked the waitress, ate their food properly and amazed everyone who saw it. Now, I have young children of my own. And I know that behavior like this has very little to do with personality (especially by the 3rd child) and LOTS to do with training. But even before I had kids I remember hearing the story and imagining it, and thinking "I would love to be that kind of mom." I could see myself with my chorus of three girls, all unique personalities - but all of them knowing when it is ok to be crazy kids and when it is the time to use manners and behave.
Of course only time will tell, and I will soon enter into the 3rd trimester which for me means lots of time fantasizing about what this child looks like and what their personality will be. Lots of fun, but the imagining is quickly followed by impatience so I think I need to pace myself!
Can you tell I have been distracted lately? I have had little philosophy going through my head and have just had to take things a day at a time. I suppose in a round-about way that is an apology for not writing. Though as I have stated before, I write when I have something to say and don't when there is nothing. Well...I suppose this has been a rather nothing post so perhaps that is not entirely true. That and I am trying to put off cleaning my house and attempting to put all my Costco items away so I think this post is more of a procrastination then anything else.
Oh - I need something else from you dear readers. Some more meal ideas. I know I have asked it a thousand times (well, almost anyhow) but this time I am focusing on beans and rice and other very cheap things. I need healthy, cheap foods. It is partially due to my rebellion against food prices rising, and the fact that we are very close to being entirely debt free (aside from the house and the student loans) and I would like things to stay that way. Luckily, with cloth diapers, breastfeeding and so many generous friends with toddlers we don't have a lot to buy for this baby. But I am not so ignorant as to believe our costs wont go up at all - especially since I didn't keep anything but a baby carrier, what was left of my cloth diapers and a few of my favorite baby outfits.
I feel as if I am in preparation mode, we are saving vacation time for Ryan and I am trying to save as much money as I can to pad our savings account as much as possible. That means for right now, trying to cut general spending. So give me cheap (but healthy!) meal ideas. I also need to start making some lists. Lists of what I need to get before baby is here, and what needs to be bought after. Lists of cleaning, lists of meals that can be frozen, lists of errands that need to be run in the next few months. Our May is packed to the gills and so in some ways I feel as if I can't really think on this until after May is over, but that seems rather foolish since that will mean I don't even start until I am 6 weeks away from my due date...and Taylor was three weeks early.
Oh goodness, Ayla's show is done so I should be off. You can tell I am scattered when there are no quotes of any sort in a post. You see, quotes require a certain amount of organization. I am just winging it here! Perhaps later this week or early next I shall take a deep breath and better organize my thoughts - that or you may get to see my above mentioned lists just so I will buckle down and get it done!