Thursday, February 25, 2010

So come with me, where dreams are born, and time is never planned. Just think of happy things, and your heart will fly on wings, forever, in Never Never Land!

"Forget them, Wendy. Forget them all. Come with me where you'll never, never have to worry about grown up things again"

Said by Peter Pan to his lady Wendy.  He was inciting her to leave behind the responsibilities of real life. Luring her with stories of mermaids and a home under the ground.  Was it real? Pretend?  It didn't matter to him.  But did it to her?  Peter Pan - Truly one of the most amazing stories ever written.  I could write a hundred posts about the life lessons to be learned within those pages.

Things don't feel right here on earth today.  The sky has an almost sunny, mostly cloudy glare.  The sound of water dripping and clocks ticking are a little louder then they should be; and the beat is just off with Ayla's nap time music.  It is to warm with a jacket, to cold without one.  My eyes want so badly to rest but the world keeps coming up with reasons to put it off again and again.  I never know how to react to afternoons such as this.  Am I suppose to seize life by the horns and bend it to my will?  Am I just too warn out by everything that a warm bubble bath, classical music and a glass of wine would re-set the clock and make it all tick in time again?  Perhaps I need space to run, to get out that bottled energy so I can finally rest.   Or perhaps a moment frozen in time, just asking God to give me strength to be patient again and again.   Tears?  Laughter? Friends? Family? Or perhaps just simply time to be alone.   I believe this day is crooked ever so slightly to the left.  That has got to be the reason.  No day that is truly set straight would appear so off-kilter in rhyme, reason and fairy tale.  Usually on crooked days a song of some sort is bursting forth, expressing how I feel exactly and therefore putting things as they should be.  But today I am empty.  I need to get more sleep, I know that.  5am wake-up times have become the average, the days rarely stop long enough for even a moment to breath and daddy working overtime has become more normal then not.  Friends are near and beloved, but family is far and has much to accomplish in their own real life.  Yes, slightly to the left, and perhaps down some.  That is why things keep rolling off and getting lost.  And why everything I attempt to carry gets dropped and finds a place to hide between the couch cushions or underneath the refrigerator.  No one ever looks under the refrigerator.  If only I were a cricket it would be the best place to hide...ha!  I just realized where that dripping is coming from.  The ice machine in the freezer.  Without fail it always confuses me.  You would think I would have learned the sounds of my own house buy now.  I suppose it is just so rare to hear what is underneath the music and the children - the sounds of life.     

Ayla wont go to sleep this afternoon.  I've now lost track of how many interruptions this post alone has suffered.  Without fail she refuses to sleep on the afternoons I intend to attempt napping myself.  I hate yelling, but when a small one has been fussing, crying, screaming for over an hour as she is refusing to nap (she fell asleep for 2 minutes in the car) I find myself yelling.  I'm not sure why, it does no good.  I guess it just makes me feel better - though an instant of released fury is rarely a good exchange for belittling my children.  She is up again...why at this point I am trying I am not sure, we have a well baby visit in 45 minutes which means she will most likely fall asleep in 30.  I should probably give up and accept defeat. 

The sun just won it's battle.  It makes my eyes feel better almost immediately.  If I had time I would sit in it for a bit, but Life is walking up the stairs again.  I can hear his laugh.  It is not an unkind laugh, but it still makes

me tired to hear it. 

So what did Wendy choose?  Truly the temptation of a place where she could remain forever young and alive is hard to resist.  And for a while she enjoyed the adventure.  But in the end Wendy knew where her heart was.  No matter how lovely it is to play pretend, to have adventures, to make pockets and dance about the living room floor.   

"Never is an awfully long time."

I will settle with "Always" instead.  It has a bit more light to it.  It is brimming is possibilities and perhaps even includes a bubble bath or two.   I would like a bubble bath.....

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

there was a little girl...

There was a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. 
And when she was good she was very very good. 
And when she was bad she was horrid! 

The date was February 16th 2008. It was evening, I was very very pregnant and we had just had dinner.  Stir fry if I remember correctly.  I was clearing the table and the moment I walked into the kitchen with the dirty dishes my water suddenly broke and I knew then that my little one was on her way.  Even then, she wanted to make her intentions very clear!  The bag was already packed.  So we spent another hour or so calling grandparents, putting big sister to bed and smiling at one another as we said over and over again "she is coming, we are going to have a baby tonight!"

Once Taylor was settled we decided to head off to the hospital.  I needed the IV of antibiotics this time and we knew, since my water had broken, that limited us on time. As we pulled up to the hospital I had my first contraction.  As I checked in and got my room, we were looked over and I was already at 3cm.  Exciting!  Things started pretty quickly after that - we did a lot of walking around, standing and swaying - my little one was looking the wrong way and that caused the contractions to be centered in my back.  Things got hard about midnight - I was having trouble not pushing when I was only at 6cm so we were more limited on what movements we could do.  That slowed things down some...but as soon as we moved past that I knew she was going to come soon.  I hit transition about 3am (I always get sick very suddenly at that point).  And at 3:45 I knew she was ready to come!  They called the doctor in and he agreed we were ready.  About 10 minutes of pushing and at 4am on Sunday February 17th 2008 my little one was here!   She came right to my chest and I believe my very first thoughts were "awe, she looks just like a squished pumpkin."  All bright red and howling away.  They got her weighed (worked a little to get her squelched out - you knew...with the bulb squelchy thing?) and wrapped in a towel and she nursed wonderfully right away! 


  Just 8 hours of labor, no ripping and no complications.  Perfect.  We had an amazing nurse that allowed me to do things my way and did not pressure me into get an epidural because "SHE didn't want to see me in pain" (The nurse we had with Taylor couldn't handle that).  I was up and walking around in less then an hour and the biggest pain I dealt with was my legs being sore from yard work the day before!  Big sister got to come in the next day and she loved her Ayla from the beginning.

See?  Squished pumpkin!  A very cute one though, she had those cheeks from the beginning!  She is still a very cuddly one, I am lucky that way.  She wants a mama cuddle first thing every morning and right after nap time.  She is a mama's girl!  But she also has to check in with daddy every few hours or things are not quite right in her world.  She likes everyone home, she wants things HER way.  As long as everything is perfect and exactly as it should be she is one happy girl!

 So today we are celebrating Ayla.  We started with presents and she certainly liked that!  She remembered exactly what you do with those. 
After breakfast Taylor insisted on making Ayla a birthday card.  And of course if Taylor is making a card then Ayla has to too, so both of them sat a colored for a while.

Ayla got a viewfinder with Peter Pan pictures for it, a few outside toys and best of all?  A remote control car!  She loves it, and so does sissy and daddy!  Mom thinks it is a little loud...but you know how moms are, they never seem to understand these things. 

Taylor's finished card

At the moment they are both watching Mary Poppins.  Ayla's choice as a treat movie on this special day.  Once she tires of that (no chance of finishing that one!) we will get dressed and go outside to play with bubbles and dig in the dirt with a new shovel, pail and little dump truck.  Tonight Grandma, Granddad, Auntie and Uncle will come over for cake, ice-cream and more presents.  A simple birthday, but I hope it is a special one.  

So happy birthday my little one.  I love you very much and I can't wait to grow up some more with you in the years to come.  I promise to do my very best to be as good a mom as I can be for you and for your specific needs.  I will pray for you everyday, I will be consistent and teach you to obey both mom, dad and God.  I will give lots of hugs and the occasional time-out.  I will strive to be the mom you need me to be in order to help God shape you into the person he wants you to be.  It is a big job, I am truly honored I was picked to be a part of it all.  I love seeing every but of your personality as you grow.  Be patient with me sometimes - after all I am learning right along with you. But if we stick together and remember to trust and laugh I think we will both turn out just fine.

Friday, February 12, 2010

My Morning - a humorous story:

My Morning - a humorous story:

The day started out good - I actually got to sleep in a bit.  Was wonderful!  Ah, but that was not to last!  My lovely children had a much different morning in the works.

This story is in honor of those that have children and laugh maniacally saying "Yes!  I have been there too!" In honor of those that have only babies (or are waiting for their first) that think it is hard now (not to belittle the hardships of your first infant.  It is most certainly hard. I am of the opinion that two is not "harder" then one.  What you are capable of simply grows.  It is the same difficulty level if you were to rate it, having one is only easier in hind site as you sigh and think that you never knew how easy you had it! I imagine have 3, 4, etc works about the same way.  I just have no personal reference) .... and lastly, in honor of those empty nesters, that can read and say "ah yes, I remember it well!"

Tantrum #1: Taylor didn't want to watch the news and refused to come out of my room. She wanted to listen to chitty chitty bang bang instead.  This resulted in time-out and she will have to wait until tomorrow to listen to that particular music.
Tantrum #2:  Taylor believes that since she got in trouble and endured the evils of time-out she now can be mean to her sister and yell at her if she tries to play. Right back into her room she went!   Breakfast #1 burned.  
Tantrum #3: Taylor was not willing to take turns sitting in the rocking chair. When told it was now Ayla's turn she simply curled up in the chair and held on. 
She is informed that the chair will be going in daddy's office - tears and more time-out.  Breakfast #2 burned. 
Ayla decides while mom is busy she will go in my room and spread make-up EVERYWHERE.  Ayla goes in time-out.
Tantrum #4 Taylor wont let go of the chair as mom takes it away and gets dragged out with it.  Both girls screaming, it is not yet 8am and I haven't had my coffee yet!
Tantrum #5 Taylor doesn't want the breakfast I made (finally!) and gags and spits egg everywhere.  She cleans it up and is put in front of a yogurt cup.  She finally eats it - stupid mom sits for a moment.  BAD idea!  Ayla sneaks into the frig and gets herself a yogurt too.  Now there is yogurt all over the table and the child.   

Ah me!  I think I need some coffee, but sadly there is not time.  I hope my story brought a smile to your face.  Now I am off to face my day!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Oh a pirates life...

Guess what - it is sunny today!  Or it will be, once the morning fog burns off.  It must be, they promised!  And if it is sunny today then we will be outside playing pirates.  Because I like playing pirates and we need some outside time so bad.  I can hardly stand being cooped up for too long.  Especially in a house that is in dire need of some tidying up.  So hurry up sun!  We miss you, we want to go out and play. Okay?

Today is my dear Father's birthday.  And so in honor of him we spent some time this morning looking at old Looney Tunes cartoons.  The Plucky Ducky ones in particular.    "Water go down the hole, toilet pinter go down the hole!"  will now ring through my house all day today.  I must admit, I love these cartoons as much as my kids, perhaps more since I can get all the hidden jokes and appreciate the classic humor - as much as I can at the ripe age of 27ish.  It makes me feel old as I watch them and think "They don't make cartoons like this anymore!"  Of course, technically they can't.  Because as innocent as we may think they are, and as corrupt as modern cartoons may appear to be...the old ones are not technically PC. So we lose the charm and old fashioned laughter because Bugs Bunny occasionally dresses up like a girl, Yosemite Sam shoots guns and of course no one seems concerned at all about the other characters' self esteem.  But here - for anyone with small children: watch this.  You will not regret it...ok, you might.  But it will make you laugh!

We had a beautiful weekend.  House was warmed with lovely friends, and then we ate chicken wings and brownies (not together, not that crazy!) and laughed at commercials as we watched the super bowl.  I feel rather sluggish today.  Ayla has taken our lessons on sharing a bit too seriously and has passed her cough on to me.  So everything is happening slow today.  That is how a Monday after a busy weekend should be though, slow and simple.  Gearing up for cleaning up the kitchen (that still holds remnants of past festivities) and folding laundry....not to mention playing pirates in the backyard.  Come on sun!

I have a confession - I didn't take pictures at my party.  I am a terrible picture taker!  Thank God I have a wonderful husband who enjoys it - as well as a sister in law and several lovely friends...(one of which has promised me a family portrait every time I buy him a pack of silly putty)...but none of them had their cameras out at the no pictures were taken.  Dare I say I will attempt to re-clean a couple rooms and freeze them eternally in digital format for your viewing pleasure?  How about I just hint at it and then if I end up not getting around to it (as has happened the last few times I made any kind of commitment) I cannot be held liable. Agreed?  Agreed! So we shall leave that subject be for the moment.

I thought yesterday that I should have asked those that had extra's lying around to bring to my party one plate, mug or bowl.  I am determined to have a 100% mismatched set.  I have two different sets together at the moment since I don't have enough of either for more then a few people to eat.  And it just feels mismatched instead of I believe 100% mismatched will be.  Ok, perhaps it will only be stylish to me, but that is better then to no one right?  I think I will start buying one at every pay period.  So two new ones a month.  And then I am not spending too much (I will visit thrift stores and get them for 10cents each) and my kitchen slowly becomes more eclectic and chic. 

Taylor just told me we need to buy chalk so we can play hop-skotch.  I agree. After all, what is a child's patio without chalk drawings?

Say a prayer our truck can be fixed soon.   I know I have mentioned it before, perhaps we need prayer for time to work on the truck, as well as divine knowledge for my wonderful husband on how to fix it as cheaply and quickly as possible.  I really want to go to the gym everyday again.  It is truly therapeutic for me, but I can't right now without pre-planning and disrupting everyone's schedule since I either have to wake children and take Ryan to work first thing in the morning (6:45ish) or he has to use his morning break to come bring me the car...if he remembers, has no important meetings and/or I am actually able to get a hold of him to remind him.  It just takes more effort then I often have to spare lately.  And I feel the "blah-ish" affects. 

Well, this sun is still not out.  But the day needs to begine.  I have promised Taylor we can make banana bread to day.  So I shall sign off for now.

May you all have mismatched plates,  high leaps and bounds, and of course - pirates!


Monday, February 1, 2010

Murder, Mystery and...Ministry?

Gonna be shameless for a moment.  Not the first time, probably not the last!   First - what are you all people doing for Valentines day weekend?  I'm talking Friday and Saturday night.  (That is Feb 12th and 13th) Nothing? No plans?  Not sure?  HA!   I have something to fill your time! 

Some dear friends of mine have started a ministry called "The Wish Project" in the past they have focused on providing clean water sources to countries that don't have clean water available.  But with the growing need in Haiti they have decided to do a special "fun"d raiser and send all the profit straight to those in need. 

On the before mentioned nights, WISH is hosting a murder mystery dinner and show here in Hanford. I get to play one of the characters, so fun!   There will be dinner, a spectacular show (that is guaranteed to keep you on your toes!) a silent auction, a 50/50 raffle and more!  Tickets are $25 for dinner and show (starts at 7) and $15 for show only (be in the door by 7:30).  If you are local, or would simply love to come and have a fun evening then PLEASE go to or call/write me to get your tickets! Tickets purchased online will include a small fee to cover paypal costs - tickets purchased from me will have possible toddler "T" and "R" scribblings and/or smiley faces.  She is getting very good at smiley faces!  They need 25 confirmed guests per night or the city will not allow the event.  PLEASE come and support this wonderful ministry!!!

Ok - that done...on with the next order of business!  A test:  who does the foot belong too?

Awe, my girls are so cute!   And once again the age old parent parable.  Never, ever ever spend money on fancy toys when boxes are free!!!

The girls had their very first REAL princess bath this last week.  Daddy was working lots of overtime saving the world and so mom had to come up with things to do to entertain in order to not go crazy!  So we made cookies, banana bread.  We did projects and took a princess bath!  I was VERY tired by the end of everyday.  But tired is better then crazy!

We decorated the bathroom (Ayla insisted on her potty being in there.  She carried it all the way from the other bathroom all by herself) We made tea while the water was filling.  Chamomile tea with a spot of honey in it.  And then lounged in the bath listening to classical guitar and playing with the lavender bath petals until they melted.  They loved it!    I think Taylor has asked just about every day since for another one.   In time!  I told her they have to stay special so we can't have one everyday.  She insists that it will still be special if they have one everyday.  The girl has logic, but also one tired mom!

Oooh, we also got our garden beds filled with dirt this weekend.  It was very exciting!  Next order of business?  Seeds and plants!  We have a few that are ready to be planted.  With three garden boxes we each get one.  Well, daddy has one, I do and the girls get to share.  The girls are planting broccoli and strawberries.  I am planting sweet pod peas (a late crop) carrots, swiss chard and leeks and Daddy wants to do a salsa garden.  I will take pictures later - at the moment they are just boxes and dirt.  Not so exciting, but we are getting there!

So are you all ready to come to my housewarming party this weekend?  Don't  forget k?  4ish on Saturday until we get tired of you all.  Come and see my house!   There is also rumor of a poker tournament that night.  so if you feel like losing money, bring your $5 and deposit it directly into my wonderful husbands pocket (well, that is what he would tell you to do).  He needs new people to play with.  The more he wins the less people are willing to come over...someone needs to beat him!

Alright - off to start my day.  The gym, cleaning this house and getting control of laundry are on my list.  Anyone want to come and join me....?  No?  Oh fine!  

Peace to all - may you be well - and please order tickets to come see my show!