Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Happiness is...

I have been thinking about happiness a lot lately.  Perhaps it is how horrible I feel most of the time right now, and the fact that through-out being sick and tired and irritable I am still so happy.  On the outside this doesn't really make sense, but when you squint your eyes and tilt your head to the left while humming Yankee Doodle and jumping up and down on one makes absolute perfect sense!  Try it, you'll see.

I really am so entirely happy.  Sure, we have hard days.  For instance, Ayla had had 5 tantrums this morning before breakfast....3 before we had even gotten up for the day!  And while that is no fun (and I will admit that we will have to deal with more today since she is getting to watch a show today while I write. Usually, bad attitudes = no TV for the day).  Perhaps her and I will go on a walk in the fog afterward.  That usually brightens the mood and sweetens a bad attitude – oh, except the fog is gone and the sun is out!  Even better.

Ugg, just got a wave of sickness.  Sooo excited for this to end.  Patience. It is probably due to Yankee Doodle and jumping up and down.  Not good for a pregnant belly.  I must remember that for next time.

My wonderful amazing husband has also been thinking on happiness lately.  His happiness is pretty easy to define.  A project or two to work on.  The bills paid. Time to spend with his wonderful wife.  Food on the table and happy kids.  He has been reading the Solomon books of the Bible on how to live your life and how to find contentment.  “Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. "Everything is meaningless!”  So how is happiness found? "Fear God and keep his commandments” (Ecclesiastes 12:13) It seems simple enough - but that also begs the questions: if we do these things and we are still not happy is there something wrong with us?  Is it just a phase?  Are we not loving God enough? Should we just give up?  Should we look beyond surface “happiness” and start looking more closely at ourselves?  Should we suck it up, pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and get past those things in life that in the long run…really don’t matter.   

I rarely can define why I am happy.  There are the general things, a house, food, and general "living" things.   But there have been times where I have had all those things and yet not felt entirely content.  I love having a clean house, but with being so sick lately that has certainly not been kept up the way I like...and yet I am still happy.  Of course God comes in there - I certainly feel blessed and protected.  I feel as if I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now.  That is always a comforting thought.  I have wonderful, supportive friends all around - though one lovely dear friend is moving away this week to Neverneverland and I admit that causes much sadness. 

Perhaps I shouldn't be trying to discover the cause and simply count my blessings and be thankful.  But I am so analytical by nature...even if I can't spell analytical correctly the first time (I had no idea there was a Y in there).  Wikki says: Happiness is a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy.  So maybe “happiness” is not really meant to be defined.  If even the most reliable information source says it is nothing but a state of mind.  

We have been listening to You're a Good Man Charlie Brown a lot lately.  The girls LOVE it and it has been playing continually in the car for about a week now.  Perhaps that is why I have been thinking on happiness.  You see, Charlie Brown and friends define happiness perfectly.  See?
Happiness is finding a pencil.
Pizza with sausage
Telling the time.
Happiness is learning to whistle.
Tying your shoe
For the very first time. 

Happiness is playing the drum
In your own school band.
And happiness is walking hand in hand.

Happiness is two kinds of ice cream.
Knowing a secret.
Climbing a tree.
Happiness is five different crayons.
Catching a firefly.
Setting him free.

And happiness is being alone every now and then.
And happiness is coming home again.

Happiness is morning and evening,
Daytime and nighttime too.
For happiness is anyone and anything at all
That's loved by you.

Happiness is having a sister.
Sharing a sandwich.
Getting along.
Happiness is singing together
When day is through,
And happiness is those who sing with you.

I think I have been over thinking this.  Sometimes, I think that in order to understand sometime on an adult level, I need to remember being a child.  When I was a kid, happiness was playing in the backyard, getting dirty, getting a new small plastic tiger.  Happiness was getting my own can of soda, breakfast alone with mom, a surprise movie.  Happiness was a walk in the rain and hot chocolate.  Getting to stay up late, coloring and eating ice while listening to my dad read out loud.  Happiness was getting mail with my name on it, playing with friends.  Staying a little longer at the park.  Happiness was midsummer vacation, singing to music, climbing rocks and reading alone.  Happiness was dreaming of the future – perhaps I should start doing that more often.  After all, I am still not entirely sure what I want to be when I grow up.  But there is still time for that, after I build lots and lots of happiness memories with my babies.