Wednesday, March 10, 2010

"The clever men at Oxford Know all that there is to be knowed. But they none of them know one half as much As intelligent Mr. Toad!"

I am a bit at a loss of what to write.  I admit, I just spend the last 30ish minutes writing a very (what I thought of as) insightful and brilliant post...but something was wrong.  I'm really not sure what.  But without even thinking I just discovered that all in one moment - prompted by what must have been God - I had highlighted the entire thing and deleted it.  Perhaps I had written something that would offend someone?  Or maybe it was an idea that is spiritually arrogant or elementary, something God is working to grow me past.  I really am not sure, but I do know for sure I was not supposed to post it (I have you all very curious now don't I). I am very much at peace knowing that page is lost forever. 

So I am pouring myself another cup of coffee and waiting to see what I am actually supposed to write on today. 

Heehee, I just heated my coffee too much!  I must have hit 2 minutes instead of 1.  The moment I stuck a spoon in there to stir it half the coffee exploded out of the cup!   A good science lesson...had it not involved a scalding hot liquid...  So my coffee is waiting for me a bit, I can drink it ridiculously hot...but not like that!

You want to hear something fun?  A dear friend of mine brought over something that made me smile.  Psalty's Kids Praise albums 1-10.  Yup!   Talk about nostalgia!  I am putting them on my computer as I type and this morning we have plans to sing and dance to it.  Want to bet I remember every word?  Well, for the first 7 albums or so.  Not sure I have heard the last few, the last was made in 1991 (the first in 1980 I think?) So by 8-9 years old I had moved past Psalty and have never heard the last few.  Who knew I would enjoy it all over again sharing it with my toddlers! Anyone want to come over and dance with us?  It will be fun!  I remember when a few of them came out new, makes me feel old!

Funny, a lot of my deleted post was based on people and being real vs being "different". I still want to write on it, but I will have to give myself a little more time to know what is and what is not the correct thing to write.  But it makes me smile to think of myself at 5-6 years old dancing to the same music I can now share with my kids.  You hear about being "child-like" all the time, and there are entire sermons based on being "like the little children."  But so many of us think back on our childhood with embarrassment, shame or even fear or guilt.  We were ignorant, we were immature.  We said/did things we would never dream of saying/doing now.  There was pain, there was sorrow...Awe!  The box with Kids Praise 7 (the Hymns one) has no CD in it!  Sad, that is one of my favorites.  No worries, I'll get it yet!

Anyhow, I guess what I am trying to say is that I a define "being like the little children" a bit differently.  Kids are real.  They laugh when they are happy, they cry when sad or hurt.  They say what is on their mind and they have no filters.  Now...some measure of filter is good.  But being THAT genuine, not taking on a created persona.  That is where I want to be.  I am not sure exactly what it all looks like, but that is just part of growing.  Funny, we spend years trying to get past childhood - then when it has finally been left entirely behind - we spend years trying to get some of it back.  Be it attitude, emotion, fun or perhaps it is an attempt to re-create a childhood we never had through our kids or just through our imaginations.

I am really not sure I am making sense today.  The second cup of coffee is not doing it's job.  Perhaps it is time to go off for the day.  I will write more if I get more inspiration.  I find I do better when I have an idea and desire to write it down then when I feel as if I should write and sit down waiting for inspiration to magically hit.  On the same note as this - I have also decided I will no longer post on Facebook when I have written here.  Unless perhaps the post contains pictures I want to share.  I want the freedom to write here without pressure - not sure why posting it on FB adds pressure but somehow it does.  So please check back every so often here to see if  I have updated.  I will not be consistent.  Mondays are no longer a "there will be a new post" day (not that they have been in a while!).  My Monday mornings have been filled now and again, I enjoy not having too much structure when it comes to this site. 

My title quote is from a book on my favorites list, one that I consider to be very full of wisdom (Children's books often are) The Wind in the Willows.  I will end with the quote my deleated post was based off of and let you draw your own conclusions.

"The Wild Wood is pretty well populated by now; with all the usual lot, good, bad, and indifferent--I name no names. It takes all sorts to make a world."
- Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows, Ch. 4

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