Monday, October 26, 2009

a foggy Monday

It actually is not foggy outside, though the fog has started early this year.  I will admit that my title of a foggy day is not literal, but figurative.  I have a foggy brain, things are not as clear as I feel they should be.

So instead of trying to make sense while typing, I will post a couple pictures.  Ayla looked so cute yesterday with her boots that I simply had to take a picture:

I love it!  I think this might be one of my very favorite pictures of her so far.  It can go next to Taylor's school picture.  Did everyone get to see that?  Yes?  Oh but you want to see it again?  Of course!  

They are getting so big.  

My kids make me happy.  I just can't help but smile when I see such cute pictures!   Of course they are pretty cute right now too, as they sit together in their PJ's watching Super Why so mama can have a cup of coffee and write on her blog, fuzzy as her brain might be. 

I hate the feeling of living only to wait.  But I am not sure how to break out of it.  At the moment it feels like everything is on hold until we can move.  I still have not let myself get emotionally attached to our house, I am scared to.  There have already been too many glitches and I worry for more to come.  Last we heard they were still shooting for ending escrow on November 20th - but that the seller said he is "still pretty sure we can close by November 30th" which is driving us insane.    Does that mean there is a chance we wont?  Do we need to change our move out day AGAIN?  Will we have time to once we know for sure when closing will actually take place?  When do we start packing?  A week before the 20th?  Two weeks?  That day since we have been hearing all of this last minute?  We were set for moving on the 7th and had tons of help to do, with moving the week of Thanksgiving (or after) it looks like we may be doing a lot of this on our own.  But honestly, I would rather try to do it alone then wait (and pay for) another couple weeks here. 

That, coupled with a little one who is still not sleeping well (and her attitude reflects her lack of sleep) is why I am living in a perpetual fog.  No amount of coffee will lift it.  The gym helps a lot, but I don't have a car most days since we are down to one now.  And saying "let's go to the gym" sparks a huge tantrum from Taylor on getting there ("I don't want to go to the gym!!!") and on coming home ("I"m not done playing yet!!")  Ah well, God give me strength to make it through this season. 

Perhaps I need a list, that always helps with the fog.  First thing I need to accomplish today is laundry.  I discovered yesterday that the bags of extra clothes I was storing out on the patio got soaked in the rain a couple weeks ago...and never dried.  I think I might have gotten one bag fully cleaned, but at least 1/3 of the clothes in it are ruined due to stains.  And even after several full washes with tons of oxy-clean and half a bottle of vinegar they still smell a little mildewy.

Second on my list is to go room to room and try to get things a little better Ayla proofed.  I feel like every other word out of my mouth lately is "Ayla, don't touch that!" It is not fair to her, or to I and it is certainly not good for our relationship.  The house is in such dis-array since we were a week and a half away from moving when it got pushed foreword a month.  So I somehow need to figure out how to organize and put things away before I take it all apart again. 

I apologize everyone, this is by far the most boring and depressing blog I have ever written.  Say a prayer the house will go through faster then anyone could have hoped, and that Ayla gives mom and dad a break and some sleep. 

This too will pass...

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