"Oh, Lucy. I'm so depressed. I don't know what to do."
"I think what you need most of all, Charlie Brown, is to come
right out and admit all of the things that are wrong with you."
- The Doctor is in: You're a good man Charlie Brown
I had the realization recently that far to many of my posts here have been about my own pet peeves.
I decided that was not entirely fair.
Lately, there have been rather a lot of "pet peeve" type of conversations around me. Perhaps it is the rising political fever, or the contraversial books and news articals currently making their rounds. But many of those in my circles, some of whom I would not consider "the type" even, are making their dissatisfaction known.
So, in the spirit of learning to laugh at myself - I am writing a post about all the "Pet Peeves" that I encompass. I offer no excuse aside from I am always learning to be a better me. And some of these things I am working to improve. Others? Well, let me just claim imperfection, heave a sigh and move on.
1. I tattle on other people's kids. For the record, please feel free to do it to my own as well. I am a big advocate of "it takes a village." I consider myself a part of your village, please join mine as well. (not in a weird cultish sort of way. Just in a "We all help out other moms." sort of way. It is lots less creepy.) But I am well aware that kids are capable of a whole heck of a lot more then we give them credit for. And so if you are at my house and you ask your kids to do/not do something and they disobey? I will be telling on them. And I will put pressure on you until you follow through. It is good for us all people. You know when your kid is not behaving and you are frustrated and you pretend you just didn't notice this time? Yeah, I noticed. And so did they. And they know they got away with it, and they will make your life harder later because of it. So I will be tattling. You'll thank me later.
2. I am a brainstormer. So if you have a problem, especially if it is child related - I may offer some advice regardless of whether or not you asked. This is something I am working on, and please let me know if it ever bothers you. I will stop, I promise. But what I immediately will do when faced with a problem is offer the first 2-5 pieces of advice that I can think of - they may be entirely unrelated to one another and from entirely different sides of the pool. It is me just acting as a sounding board. I do not doubt your parenting abilities. I just know that as moms, we can get stuck sometimes and need a fresh perspective. I also know that I am a damn good mom, even with my flaws. Chances are you are too, I don't hang out with crappy moms. Ever. So I just want to encourage you through the haze of not getting enough sleep and cut a few corners for you as far as ideas are concerned. But It bothers me when people "have all the answers" even when they don't. So this is something that often bothers me about myself and I am working to curb it. So feel free to remind me of that if I ever cross a line. I wont get offended, well - my ego may get bruised a bit. But I will be ok, and I will thank you later.
3. If I love it, I think everyone will love it. I get excited and passionate about it, and I want to talk about it and share it with as many people as possible. I get this from my mom, she is the same way and I get some of my best ideas from her! The problem is, people are different. So you may not love it AT ALL and I'll admit, that confuses me. I'll get over it though, but in the meantime, I can be a little annoying when I tell you the same story for the 204532 time - or try to get you to listen to a song, or watch a show, or cloth diaper you baby, or have a natural birth, or wear the color red, or taste greek food, or drink lots of water everyday, or read this article or buy this book, or...well you get the idea.
4. I will be 15 minutes late. I HATE this about myself. And it has really only become true in the last year, that third child did me in. I have tried to start earlier, I have attempted to get things done ahead of time. But no, rarely will it work. So I have accepted this about myself - all while still trying to fix it of course. But I am trying not to feel so guilty, take a deep breath and know that I will be there eventually, and everything will be ok.
5. My house is always dusty. Some of this I will blame on living next to a field with LOTS of dirt. But there is a layer on everything and there is no way I feel I can keep up with it.
6. To go along with that - I have cabinets that I never fully un-packed when I moved. My bathroom is one of them. If I spent an hour cleaning it out, I would have tons more space in there. But it doesn't happen because it is low on the priority list (first on the list being feed the children and do the dishes, and they expect to be fed three times a day! The nerve of these people...). So they remain cluttered, and I shut the door and try to forget.
7. Have you heard about those people that go to college, and then quit with one semester to go? Why don't they just finish! One semester, how hard can that be? Well, I know this one person, that quit with just one CLASS. Can you believe! ...oh wait, that's me! One class. No degree. Thousands in student loan debt, no degree. You need 126 units to graduate. I have 124. I needed one stinking college algebra class, no dice. Didn't happen. I ran out of time, and what they tell you is true. Once you quit, it is HARD to go back. I even tried to go back a couple of years ago. I now have 6 classes I have to finish (or did 6 years ago), yeah I expected that. But one is language, and they ask you take the last 20 something units AT the school and not transferred from another school. When I asked how I was going to take Spanish correspondence and/or online (Since I now live 200 miles from my school) their exact words were "do the other classes, and we will figure that out once we get there." Yeah, at well over $1000.00 per unit that is just not good enough for me. So I gave up on graduating from that school. I will finish my degree. I MUST. But it will be a while, and it will likely be in a different major since my interests have changed in the last 12 years. Wow, has it really been 12 years since I started college? Feeling old people!
8. This is perhaps one I am most ashamed of. I fall into the category of "out of sight, out of mind." This means that if I don't see you, I will likely be BAD at keeping in contact. Facebook has helped with this. But I will probably not call you, I will try very hard. But the chances are slim. It doesn't in any way mean I do not love you. In fact, if I do get to talk to you I will be so overjoyed I may get all emotional on you. And I will go on and on about how we need to see/talk more often! And I will really, truly mean it from the bottom of my heart. But then life hits, and it doesn't happen. I hate this about myself, because it makes me seem flaky, and maybe I am. Though I truly don't mean to be. So accept my most humble apologies. Know that I love you and I miss you - but I just suck at keeping in contact when we are far away.
9. This one drives my husband crazy - I get lost. A lot. I don't really know my right from my left. I mean I know...but it takes a few seconds. Please do not even try to ask me where North and South are. I need directions for just about everywhere and I will need them multiple times because I forget. I forget a lot. This is embarrassing. But I have had to learn to deal with it. I am un-coordinated. I trip and fall. I drop things, I make messes. I hurt myself. I am not crafty, I can't make things look pretty (Aside from my babies, I made them and they are very pretty!). I have no eye for color, for art, for what goes with what. I will ask the same question over and over because I just forgot. Anything that takes finesse of any kind I have to learn to do manually, there is no instinct involved. And it is hard work. I can't dance, I can't even move so it looks natural. This will someday drive my children insane, and that encourages me. I honestly think that the compass in my brain just got stuck, it is not free floating as a compass should be, and it makes everything that takes hand-eye coordination and/or any sense of direction 50 billion times harder for me then it should be (I also exaggerate, but that could be a post in and of itself). I have accepted the fact that few understand, and I am so sorry if I ask for directions to your house over and over and over again. Please just be patient with me. I will learn eventually!
10. And this is perhaps the worst of the lot - ergo the title. I do not answer txts and emails as I should. Yes, I am that rude person that you send a message too not knowing if you might sometime, maybe, perhaps, hear back...someday? Sometimes I write back right away. And sometimes it takes hours, or days or you remind me a week later that you never got an answer...and I, full of embarrassment that I was *that* person yet again meekly replies, hoping you will forgive me - knowing it will likely happen again. It is a character flaw and I deeply apologize to any and all who have been hurt or frustrated by my lack of courtesy. I wish I could say it will not happen again - but all I can really do is say that if it really bothers you, please let me know and I will triple my efforts to improve when it is your messages I am replying too.
All right, I'll try
I'm not very handsome or clever, or lucid,
I've always been stupid at spelling and numbers.
I've never been much playing football ir baseball
Or stickball, or checkers, or marbles, or ping-pong
You're not very much of a person...
And yet there's a reason for hope.
For although you are no good at music,
Like Schroeder, or happy like Snoopy,
Or lovely like me,
You have the distinction to be
No one else but the singular, remarkable, unique
Yes- it's amazingly true,
For whatever it's worth, Charlie Brown,
I'm me, and while I ever hope to be improving. For now - that is enough.